The 13-year-old boy I tutor: "I had a dream last night I was a Jedi."
Boy: "And I was fighting myself."
Me: "How did you do that?"
Boy (as if obvious): "Well, I had cloned myself."
Oh. Of course!
* * *
A high school junior in the resource room: "Your voice sounds low."
Me: "It does?"
Junior: "Are you a smoker?"
Junior contemplates this for a minute, then declares: "It sounds like you've been inhaling helium backwards."