Trying to help

Today one of the teacher aides brought one of my elementary school counseling students to me, saying the student was upset. He certainly looked upset. He sat at the table in the school psych office, not talking, his head in his hands. I asked if he was angry or sad. “Both,” he said emphatically. He was quiet for a few minutes, but after I asked him a few more questions it finally came out: the problem was HOMEWORK (“I have so much to do, and I don’t know how to do any of it!”). I was relieved – homework is one problem I definitely have the skills to help with! He seemed very organized and took out each assignment (one for English, one for math, one for social studies). The social studies one was very short, and he was able to do it right away. When he reread the directions for math, he realized that because he’s a resource room student, he only had one page to do (with only three questions), not two, and he looked visibly relieved. Then it was dismissal time and his bus arrived, so he had to leave. He said after he comes in to homeroom in the mornings he goes to the resource room if he has any questions about his homework, so I reminded him he should do that tomorrow if he had trouble finishing the math and English at home tonight. I was glad I could help, and VERY glad I’m interning in a school district that offers so much support for special education students. Even knowing he has the terrific resource room teacher to help him, he still had an overwhelmed, panicky moment – imagine if he were a student at the bad charter school where I taught for a year. That was such a depressing job because there was just not nearly enough support for kids who needed extra help. We were supposed to do “team teaching” and were not supposed to pull kids out of the regular class – the “push-in” model. But I’m sorry, when you have an 11-year-old kid who’s reading at a third grade level, so amount of “pushing in” is going to be enough to help him access material written at the sixth grade level. A kid like that needs major curriculum and homework modifications and adaptations (along with direct instruction in reading, of course). At this school we have teacher aides, multiple remedial reading and remedial math teachers, multiple staff members in general that we just didn’t have at that charter school. It frustrates me that every kid in the country doesn’t have access to all these extremely helpful services. I really appreciate interning in a good school where every day I see an excellent model of how things are SUPPOSED to work.

Two days ago I was scrolling through my daily Indeed.com e-mail that alerts me to school psychologist job openings when I stopped cold: there was an ad for a school psychologist needed at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut (“start date negotiable”). Mary Sherlach was the school psychologist who died in the massacre there on Dec. 14, 2012. I remember on the day it happened, I went to B.’s after work and we quietly watched CNN together. As soon as the CNN reporter started talking about Mary Sherlach, I said, “Wait – the school psychologist died??” B. looked down and admitted, “I didn’t want to tell you.” I was actually going to apply, but that night I had bad dreams – nothing graphic, nothing I can even remember, but I woke up with a distinct sense of uneasiness and fear. They definitely need a school psychologist with far more experience than I have, anyway. My only recent traumatic experience was this morning when Izzie (www.DemonKittyDoesGood.org) jumped off the windowsill onto my face. Now I have a scratch on my nose.

Tonight I’m going to a reading in Albany by Ann Hood (http://www.annhood.us/ ), one of my favorite fiction writers! *Excited*

I want to be a school psychologist!

My first blog post in a year and 5 months! What’s “gnu”? Well, I’m now more than halfway through my year-long school psychology internship in the Albany, NY area, and am already starting to apply for school psychologist jobs for this fall. I think I’ll really like being a school psychologist – I only wish I’d realized it ten years ago! Oh well – better late than never. Where am I applying for jobs? I’m hoping to stay here in the northeast (preferably near a Metro-North or NJ Transit train station so I can easily visit my beloved New York City), but this is where jobs are tightest. So far I’ve gotten two calls: one from a placement agency that’s looking for leave replacements right now but said to contact them again in June; and one from a school district in Wilmington, Delaware that needed someone immediately. It’s reassuring that at least my resume is getting read. Many of these jobs ads ask for two or even three letters of recommendation, which I dread asking for, but I e-mailed one of my professors last night to ask if she would write one for me. I haven’t heard back yet. I think letters of recommendation are kind of dumb – asking someone who you’re 99% sure will write nice things about you to write nice things about you.

Today I got out the Woodcock-Johnson cognitive assessment at my school for the first time, opened the book – and realized it was AUTOGRAPHED. Yes! My former supervisor apparently had gotten WOODCOCK HIMSELF to autograph our copy of the test! I love it! :)

I was on hold for it at the library for months, but Andrew Solomon’s new book, “Far From the Tree,” finally came in for me (here’s a review: http://www.nytimes.com/2012/11/25/books/review/far-from-the-tree-by-andrew-solomon.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0). He spent years interviewing parents about what it’s like to raise children with significant differences -- everything from severe and profound disabilities, to Down Syndrome, to dwarfism, to prodigies, to criminals (he extensively interviewed the parents of Dylan Klebold, one of the Columbine killers). It’s FASCINATING. Which is why I stayed up until 1:30 AM last night (this morning) reading it.  I can’t help it if it’s that good!

I am typing this as my cat (she blogs at www.DemonKittyDoesGood.org , by the way) sleeps all comfy on my lap. Purr. <3 o:p="">

Gainfully employed!

Doing the sample lesson paid off -- I got the job!! Starting this fall, I will be a special education teacher for middle school students at a charter school in Manhattan! ;-D It's all "push-in" services -- I'll be in different teachers' classroom six periods a day, helping special education students within the regular classroom. The current special ed teacher said that may sound like a lot, but since you're not planning or grading all those classes, it's not as overwhelming as it may sound. Six classes sounded okay to me, though. When I taught eighth grade English, I taught six periods a day all by my lonesome, whereas in this position any whole-class teaching I'll do will be co-teaching. They really didn't have the co-teaching model when I got my master's in special ed in 1998, but I'm glad they do now. I think I'll like it! Having two teachers in the class ends up helping all the kids, not just the ones labeled as needing special ed services.

I'm grateful to have gotten a job this soon. Now I'll be spared from interviewing all summer. I'm really lucky.

I sign the contract tomorrow. First day for the kids is the day after Labor Day!

Now we know why there are food banks

Last week I went to a government services building in Coney Island, Brooklyn, to apply for food stamps. By the time I left the subway the rain had begun to fall, but I did get to walk past the famous Cyclone roller coaster along the way.

The building smelled like a nursing home, but I forged ahead and told the security guard I had an appointment. She said to find a seat, which was hard -- the large 'waiting room' with several rows of seats was nearly standing room only. A few people had a book or a newspaper to read during their wait, as I did, and a few others spoke quietly to the person next to them. But the majority just sat there, grim-faced, staring into space. I listened to the older woman next to me hum quietly to herself as I read my book ("The Fountainhead" by Ayn Rand, who definitely did not believe in food stamps). Every so often the security guard would come to the front of the room and ask, "Does anyone speak Russian and English?" and ask them to translate something for an applicant who had just walked in.

An hour after my scheduled appointment time, I was finally called in by a blondish woman with a Russian accent. I followed her into a maze of cubicles and sat down across from her. I showed her my proof I was receiving unemployment benefits, and she looked at the receipt for my nearly $1,000 a month rent, but she didn't look at the electric or gas bills. She sighed a few times as she entered my information into her computer. "I don't think you'll qualify," she said apologetically. "I'll say you're getting $405 a week in unemployment instead of $430" (you can do that?' I thought) "because $430 a week is too much."

She typed away at her computer, moving through various screens. Finally she said, "Do you want to be fingerprinted now, or do you want to see if you qualify first?"

I was taken aback. I didn't know you needed to get fingerprinted for food stamps. "Um, I'll see if I qualify first," I said.

She went through a few more screens, hit the magic button -- and sighed again, shaking her head. "I'm sorry," she said. "Your income is too high."

"Even taking my rent into account?" I asked hopefully.

She said, "We only count that if you're under the limit, but you're over." Which doesn't make sense to me (shouldn't it be the opposite?), but rules are rules.

But then I felt guilty because she seemed to feel so bad for me! She went on about how unfair it was that I didn't qualify. "If I make the rules, you would qualify. But when they make the law, they don't ask me," she said. "People like you who work should get. Not the lazy people who don't work!"

"Oh, that's all right," I said quickly, trying simultaneously to reassure her and stop her rant. "I knew I probably wouldn't get them, but I just thought I'd try."

"Well, I don't wish this on you, but if, God forbid, your unemployment runs out before you find a job, I hope you know you can come back to us," she said.

I thanked her profusely and left, thinking, If, God forbid, I don't find a job before my unemployment runs out in October, $200 a month in food stamps isn't going to cut it. Note to self: do some shopping for the St. Bart's food pantry this week. If I had to live solely off unemployment benefits, I would be one of its clients.

The New York Times actually ran an article on Sunday by Jason DeParle entitled "The Safety Net: For Victims of Recession, Patchwork State Aid," about how piecemeal the social services safety net is in this country, and how so much of the aid you can get depends on the state in which you live (http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/10/us/10safetynet.html?em).

In other news, I'll have to send my resume much farther and wider for a teaching job than I have been. I was only applying for jobs in Brooklyn and Manhattan, and not at first-year schools (since they haven't had a chance to iron out the kinks yet). But that was before I went to the NYC Public Schools web site last night, where they have a big notice posted about a hiring freeze for the upcoming schoolyear. The only exceptions are specific shortage areas (like bilingual special ed -- if only I were bilingual!); schools that have been in operation less than 3 years; and "high need" schools (which is probably code for scary schools with metal detectors). The New York Times also ran an article about it, in today's paper (http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/11/nyregion/11teachers.html?em).

Maybe it's a good thing I have a friend in the food stamp office. ;O

Charter school job fair

I went to the charter school job fair at Columbia U. on Saturday. It was crowded! But we're all certified to teach in different areas, so I wasn't in direct competition with at least half of the other candidates, or so I kept telling myself! Only one woman from one of the schools was snotty. I purposely approached her table because there was no line, only to have to wait a couple of minutes for her to finish her extremely important conversation about the new diet she's on, and how it's about being healthy, not losing weight, unfortunately, because wouldn't that be nice if it happened, blah blah blah. When she finally stopped talking and acknowledged my existence, we talked for a minute and she said, "Well, we are looking for a special education teacher but only for kindergarden and first grade." Then she took my resume, looked at it, and said in a snotty tone, "Wow. This is really confusing." I had talked to people from half a dozen other schools by then, and none of them had said my resume was confusing. Humph.

But most of the schools were very nice. One Brooklyn school in particular said they definitely need special ed teachers for the fall, that they give resumes from job fair candidates a higher priority, and that I should expect a call soon. Yay!

The only problem is that many charter schools have extended school days and extended school years, to give kids who are behind more learning time. I tried to avoid those schools. Am I a terrible person?? It's just that, for me, teaching is difficult and draining and challenging enough when you have a 6 hr and 50 minute school day, 180 days a year. When I taught 8th grade in Texas, the kids' school day was 8:05 AM - 3:35 PM every day (7.5 hours!), and I would be grading and planning all evening and on weekends, and I STILL never felt like I ever caught up. I was 23 years old and could barely do it. I just don't think I could do it now. One of my friends from when I did Jesuit Volunteer Corps was visiting NYC over the weekend from California, where she's now teaching 7th grade. She said she grades and plans every weeknight until at least 9:00 PM, but she's made a rule that her weekends are her own. She's a lot smarter than I was when I was her age! I didn't make that rule and therefore completely burned myself out. No more.

I will re-do my resume yet again, though. It's just so tough for me to organize a resume in a way that makes sense, because my experience is wildly all over the place: teaching kids, publishing, teaching adults, administrative assistance, fundraising, tutoring. The longest I've ever worked anywhere was 2 years and 5 months. Not the most typical career path. But it hasn't been boring, that's for sure!

My new part-time teaching job

Yesterday was my first day doing the part-time high school resource room teaching job. I'm not quite sure what to make of it. The Spanish teacher is in there as the regular teacher -- don't know how they get away with that, as she's not special ed certified, but I guess that's why they want me there. There's also a teacher's aide, and then today yet another teacher's aide showed up. For four to five kids per period. !!! And these kids are bright -- they just need extra time on tests, or a little extra help with homework, etc. -- they really don't seem to need an almost one-to-one adult/student ratio. But the Spanish teacher is very nice, and she suggested I just observe this week, so that's what I've been doing. Needless to say, it has not been very stressful. I spend more time commuting to the school (an hour and 20 minutes each way) than actually being AT the school (an hour and a half). Kind of funny.

The kids are pretty funny, too. Mostly boys, as is par for the course in special ed. Yesterday one of them was telling a story about how he got mugged on a street corner two years ago when a couple of guys demanded his money, and he said no.

"So what happened?" the teacher asked.

"They cut me with a knife," he said.

The teacher's jaw dropped. "And then what happened?"

"They ran away," he said, "and I went to the hospital and got 25 stitches."

One of the other boys started laughing and asked the teacher, "What did you think he would say? 'I pulled out my sword and we commenced to duel'?"

Then they started talking about a certain teacher they all like. "I have a crush on her," one of the boys admitted dreamily. "I heard she's 37. If I were 37, I would totally ask her out on a date."

"I know where she lives," another boy said.

The first boy rolled his eyes. "Dude, I'm not gonna stalk her!"

Oh, and guess what? I have an interview next week for a full-time-with-benefits special ed teaching job at a high school in Brooklyn! It's a new school that started this schoolyear with only ninth graders. I like the principal already. We only spoke a few minutes on the phone, but he just seemed so nice, so enthusiastic, so normal (three important qualities in a principal). He said, "I can't wait for you to come in and meet the staff -- we have such great people working here." So I'm going in next Tuesday morning to observe a couple of classes, and then he and I will "talk" (I assume that's his informal way of saying "interview"). Should be interesting.

Details on Resource Room teaching job

When I talked to the woman at the tutoring agency today about the part-time Resource Room teaching job, she said, "The principal really liked you and was so impressed with you -- she even asked if you could work there next schoolyear, which I've never had happen before the tutor has started!" Which is pretty funny, because the principal did not interview me. She has never met me. In fact, she wasn't even in the building when I arrived (she was off at some meeting), so I interviewed with an underling whose name I never quite caught. I assume she was the vice-principal, but I don't know for sure. So I thought that was amusing.

But I don't think I would be able to work there next year even if I wanted to, because the vice-principal (or whoever she was) said the part-time Resource Room was pretty much the extent of their special education program there, and I need a full-time job! At least it's nice to know I'm going in on a high note, although it's also a little nerve-wracking. If they like me this much before I've even done anything, it can only go downhill from here, right? Now I know how President Obama feels. ;)

The woman at the tutoring agency may have another part-time job for me, working with two or three kids at another school just a few blocks away in the late afternoons, which could work out nicely. But I don't even have a start date yet for the Resource Room job -- apparently they have to get all of the students' parents to sign permission forms first. Since that will take several days, at least, and since February break is from 2/16 - 2/20, I'm guessing I won't start until 2/23.

Which is fine, because I need to recover -- I am sick. I started getting a terrible sore throat and a fever on Sunday night. The fever went away after a couple of days of taking Tylenol, fortunately, but the sore throat had to be the worst one I've had in 10 years -- every time I swallowed, I was in utter agony -- but that finally started going away on Thursday, thank God. Now I just have to get rid of the cough/cold/pinkeye. The pinkeye is pretty disgusting-looking (I'll spare you the gory details), but I hope it goes away on its own. Healthy New York delayed my health insurance application because I didn't include four weeks' pay stubs from my college teaching job (because I only get paid once a month, as I patiently explained to them on the phone), so I don't have health insurance until March 1st. Sigh!

I couldn't tutor my 7th grade student yesterday, unfortunately (I miss paid sick days!), but I dragged myself there on Wednesday. At the end of our session he read me a list of funny pick-up lines he found on the Internet. Here were my two favorites:

1) "Let's make like a fabric softener and Snuggle."

2) "Are you a parking ticket?"
"No, why?"
"Because you've got FINE written all over you!"

What can I say? They made me laugh. (Have I mentioned that I'm sick??)

I got the gig!

The tutoring agency called me today and said I got the part-time Resource Room teacher job! Yay! I'm not sure yet when I'll start, but probably sometime next week. :)

Also, I was accepted to attend two days of (free) training in Applied Behavioral Analysis (ABA) with an Early Intervention agency in a couple of weeks. Early Intervention is one-on-one teaching for kids ages 0 - 3 who are experiencing some sort of delay. After the two full days of training, I'll do ten hours of observation/practice, and if I do well with that, they will assign me some Early Intervention cases where I'll work one-on-one with kids in Brooklyn in their homes. I'm a little nervous about teaching such young kids -- babies, really -- but so many children receive Early Intervention services these days, it will be really valuable experience.

So if I can keep tutoring the seventh grade student I currently tutor through one agency six hours a week, and if I can do the part-time Resource Room teacher job through the other agency, and if I can keep my unemployment, I should be able to survive financially until I (HOPEFULLY) land a full-time-with-benefits teaching job this fall -- IF Congress passes legislation to extend unemployment benefits again. To qualify for the current extension, you have to exhaust your current benefits by March 31st, and mine won't run out until two weeks later (d'oh! missed it by *that much*!).

I really, really, really hope the extension passes. If it doesn't, hopefully the Early Intervention gig will work out and make up the financial difference. *fingers crossed*

I was pleased to see that Obama signed that bill extending health care coverage to more low-income children today (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090205/ap_on_go_pr_wh/children_s_health_20), and I'm very curious to see what happens with his proposal to make people who are on unemployment automatically qualify for Medicaid. That would really be a godsend. Let's put it this way: I receive $405 per week in unemployment benefits, which is the most you can get in NY State. But you have to pay taxes on it, so I let the feds take out 10% every week, which brings it down to $364.50 per week (I'm sure I'll actually owe about 25% on it in total when I file my taxes, but they won't take out more than 10% when they give it to you). That's $1,458 per month -- too much to qualify for Medicaid or food stamps. But the rent on my one-bedroom apartment in Brooklyn is $993 per month, and the cheapest plan available under Healthy New York, the public program for those too "rich" to qualify for Medicaid (i.e., single adults without children who earn more than $600-something per month) is like $185 per month. That leaves $280 for the month -- $280 for food, electricity, phone, transportation, laundry, etc.

If I didn't have these part-time jobs, I'd never make it.

That's why this economic meltdown is so frightening. I am incredibly lucky to have an education, a teaching certificate, work experience, to be living in a big city with a variety of industries, and to not have anyone else to support besides myself. What about people, especially people with children to feed, who never went past high school and have always worked at jobs that never required more than that -- jobs that are now disappearing? What are they going to do?? :(

The Job Search

I got laid off from my fundraising job at a health organization back in October. I wasn't too broken up about it because my boss was rarely in the office and I hardly had anything to do. What I miss are the paychecks (ironically, it was the highest-paying job I've ever had) and the health insurance!

I've been looking into becoming certified as a Learning Disabilities Teacher/Consultant, but since you need three years of classroom teaching experience to do that, and I only have two, I need to get a teaching job. I got my master's in special education ten years ago and have a permanent NY State teaching certificate, and since special ed is a shortage area, I didn't think it would be too hard.

A few weeks ago I had an interview at a charter school in Brooklyn. It was a panel interview, which are always a little intimidating -- the principal, special education coordinator, and two teachers all grilled me. I was actually lucky there were only four people, because, as the principal said, "Usually our ENTIRE hiring committee would be here, but they're off doing emergency teaching assignments because we have three vacancies."

Three teaching positions open in the middle of the year -- I figured I had a shot. Sure enough, 24 hours after that first interview, the special education coordinator contacted me, saying the committee had liked what I had to say. Could I come in the following Thursday and teach a demonstration lesson to one of the eighth grade classes? Why, of course I could.

I sweated and slaved over this lesson, then went into the school on January 15th and taught it, with the hiring committee watching. It was a challenge because I didn't know the kids, and I ran out of time at the end so I had to cut short the group activity I had planned. But the kids were pretty good, and seemed fairly engaged. They certainly didn't make me want to run out of the school screaming or anything. But by the time the period ended, the entire hiring committee had already left, except for the special ed coordinator who just said, "We'll be in touch in the next day or two."

But they weren't in touch in the next day or two. They didn't contact me at all -- until today (more than two weeks after I taught my demo lesson), when the school secretary called me. "The principal wanted me to call and ask you if you would be interested in a substitute teaching position starting this Thursday," she said.

Substituting? Huh?? "For what subject?" I asked.

"What subject were you interviewed for?" she said.

"Special ed."

"Then it must be a special ed substitute position."

It "must be"? Shouldn't you know for sure what the job is before you offer it to somebody? "How long would it last?" I asked.

"Well, it's open-ended. We've had temps in the classroom since there isn't a permanent teacher in that class right now. It could lead to a permanent position," she said.

I asked what the rate was, and she said $154 per hour, but I'm sure she meant $154 per day -- if it were $154 per hour, that would be over $150,000 per year! "And no benefits," she added helpfully.

Great. I asked if I could think about it, and she said yes. But what I really wanted to say was, "So let me get this straight. You asked me to come in for an interview for one of three vacant teaching jobs, and I did. You liked what I said and asked me to teach a sample lesson, which I did. After observing that, you think I would be good enough to teach -- but only as a subsititute??" Seriously, what are they thinking? I interviewed for a permanent job; I'm ready, willing and able to take a permanent job; but instead they want to hire me as a sub and continue this parade of temporary teachers in that classroom? How can that possibly be good for the kids? And, it's already February -- it's not like they'd be making some big commitment to me if they just hired me to teach from February through June. Once the schoolyear ends, couldn't they just not renew my contract if they didn't like me?

I guess they really don't want to pay benefits. I'm very fortunate that I don't have any health issues (knock on wood), but I don't want to go without health insurance. If I were substituting I would earn too much to qualify for Healthy New York, the public insurance program I will soon be on (for $235 per month out of pocket, of course). And if I'm teaching full-time, planning lessons and grading papers and managing a classroom just the same as a permanent teacher, I really shouldn't have to forego the benefits. What cheapskates.